4 Ways I Can’t Relate to Seinfeld

I often relate events in my life and the lives of my loved ones to those in the show Seinfeld. The popular show about nothing documents the everyday life of a group of thirty-something-year old friends who are pretty much single and childless trying to function in Manhattan. Their hilarious problems and pitfalls can, and often happen, to everyman, however, I have found that some aspects of the show are simple un-relatable. I’m going to suspend my suspension of disbelief and list the ways I can’t relate to Seinfeld.

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  1. No Drinking Allowed – I may live in New Orleans where drinking is a serious business, but I would think that the drinks would be flowing a lot more for a tight-knit group of dysfunctional friends in a big city. They do drink in some instances, and it’s usually the infamous Hennigan’s: the scotch that Jerry’s uncle gave him years before he drank any that he claimed to be using as paint thinner. Really the only reason it was drunk in the show when it first appeared was to test whether you could smell alcohol on someone after one drink. It made a few appearances after that, though Elaine did just pretend to drink it at one point.
  2. “You seem to be with a lot of men.” – Dating in the new millennium has changed just as technology has made it easier for us to meet new people, but also keep a reasonable and discreet distance. It seems that in the show, the main cast always have new dating partners that they know pretty well and switch them at a rapid pace. Assuming each show, which aired weekly, takes place over one week or less, these people may very well be promiscuous. How can one go on a date or be in a serious relationship with a new person or each week, minus some instances when they have a recurring partner like Elaine’s Puddy and the very well-known Susan who conveniently dropped dead on George.
  3. The Only Thing Going Up Here Is the Rent- I don’t know about you, but paying the rent is a big concern to me. I live in a state where the average rent payment is half of a person’s income which is not a far cry from the plight elsewhere. Housing costs have inflated to a high degree. Maybe in the 1990’s it wasn’t so bad, however, it seems that the price of the cast’s apartments is never really an issue. The only time someone had a housing issue of great concern was when George hadn’t had a job in a while and moved in with his parent’s before landing his dream job with the Yankees. In one early episode, George and Jerry want an amazing apartment, and George claims that the rent is only twice as much as Jerry pays now so it’s totally affordable. His rent must have been extremely cheap to begin with.
  4. Gift-Giving- George attempted to be nice to Elaine and bought her a cashmere sweater for $80, originally $800, that had a indiscernible red dot. Elaine was appalled that George bought the sweater at a discount, as was the jilted cleaning lady and psychotic alcoholic. If anyone bought me an $80 gift, I’d be thrilled! If anyone bought me an $800 gift, I’d ask them what exactly that they wanted from me because I’m pretty sure I’d be enslaved after that. Just some food for thought, you unthankful bitch.

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